Just as long as Clay Aiken blogged, it's gonna be a PERFECT DAY!
There's nothing quite like a Clay blog to put one's fandom back in perspective. His words are so carelessly intimate, and that makes them powerful. Every time I see those magic words "CLAY BLOGGED!" I get this adrenaline rush. I get breathless and lightheaded, and my heart beats faster. I've even caught myself licking my lips in anticipation. :P Last night at Clayversity, we descended into a discussion of what Clay's blogs have in common with good sex, and we had more trouble thinking of what they didn't have in common. 
I'm still daydreaming about the day we get an album that is truly Clay. But in the meantime, I have my updated Rock Star Within playlist, with Kimmel Invisible and ATD beside BFM and Perfect Day. And we'll soon be flooded with the goodness of November clack. The AMAs, Days of Our Lives, co-hosting Regis and Kelly, and Tyra are still to come.
I'm probably looking forward to Tyra the most, because I've heard a lot about her on-show chemistry with kiss, culminating in a Clay. GAH! I can't wait to see his face when Tyra rubs herself against him, trying to see if he's allergic to all kinds of "chocolate". I'm getting a little giddy just thinking about it!
Lest I get too lost in fantasies of the Clyra, I'll post part III of 1000 Oceans and trot off. Have a good one!
1000 Oceans
Part III
We are tiny beneath the wide indigo sky. I look up at the uncounted stars above, glimmering like broken ice against the inky waves. Needles pierced my fingertips despite the thick gloves, and I rub them together, like kindling. The deck is teeming with life, families and friends of all ages commingling under the moonless canopy.
I am so absorbed in the night that I jump at Clayton’s touch. He turns me to him and fastens his eyes onto mine, so the jade jewels rivet me. When he speaks, his voice is hushed and grave, but gentle. “Kelly. I’ve just spoken with the Colonel. We’ve hit an iceberg and there is some damage to the ship. Another ship is coming to help, but in the meantime, the lifeboats are being filled. The Colonel says that you must go.” His urgent words buzz around me like electricity. I am trembling again.
“Why? Nothing can hurt the Titanic.” He opens his mouth, but before he can speak, Graham arrives.
“Kelly.” I nod, and introduce him to Clayton. “I am told the damage to the ship is significant. There’s no telling… of course the ship won’t sink, but for your own safety, and for Clayton’s peace of mind. You must go.” I stare into Graham’s face, and see a fearful unspoken secret.
“Yes, Kelly, you have to go.” Frightened, I look up at Clayton. His eyes are somber and determined beneath their gold lashes. He, like Graham, knows something he doesn’t dare to tell me. I fold my trembling hands to still them, and think of my sweet secret. What good could come of life without his hand in mine?
“Really, now. We’ll all meet on the rescue ship at breakfast. Clayton and I will be just fine, brownie.” My tears didn’t fall, but hung in my eyes as I spoke, with Clayton’s hand entwined in mine. “Let’s get in line.”
“Not on your life, Graham. Clayton and I started together, and if need be, we’ll finish together.”
“Kelly, for goodness-” Clayton raises a hand, stemming Graham’s outburst with quiet words.
“Graham, could we have a moment?”
“Of course. I’ll see you in a few minutes.” He leaves us, and I raise my eyes to Clayton’s face again.
“I meant it. I’m not going without you. I promised that I would go wherever you would go.” He bites his lip, and pulls me away from the bewildered masses.
“Kelly, when we were married, you made a promise to obey me.” His voice is too gentle. “Please try to understand. You are so… I know how much you love me.” I look away, trying to hide my tears. “Darling, you must go. I will follow you. But there’s no waiting anymore. You need to go.”
“But if you were going to be fine, you wouldn’t send me away without you. Clayton, I’m not stupid.”
“I know. I know, darling.” He presses his lips against my forehead.
“Then tell me the truth. I need to know it.” He draws us ever further from the demurely disheveled crowds and tight-lipped officers weaving through them like fearful ghosts. “Please, Clayton.” He leads me to the invisibly tilted railing, and I look up at the spinning stars. The sky seems crooked.
“Please believe me, Kelly. I believe we’ll both be all right. But the ship is going to sink.” The breath tangles in my throat, like a willow’s languid leaves.
“How do you know?”
“The Colonel was told by John Thayer, and the ship’s builder told him.”
“You and Graham lied to me. You both knew, and still -,” I quaver, knowing it was only their breed of kindness.
“I just can’t let you risk yourself… or…or…” His breath is choked, and he is fighting for his words. He places a quivering hand on my belly, and the helpless tears fall like stars against my cheeks.
“I never told you.”
“Your speaking eyes told me so.” His soft laughter stabs me, and when he sees my face he stops and embraces me tight against his chest. He strokes my hair and I lay my cheek against his heart. The percussive music within is pleading. “Please, think of our child. God made you to be a mama. Musn’t let Him down.”
“You.” The word escapes, but I can speak no more.
“I was the second place swimming champion back in Raleigh. They suspected my mother of being a mermaid in disguise.”
“You’re a bad liar,” I hiccup. Smiling like an immortal through his own misty eyes, he paints my cheeks with salt teardrops.
“Okay. I am a bad liar. I don’t like the water. That doesn’t mean I can’t swim.” His voice wavers like the strains of cello floating through the arctic air. “Do you think I would leave you alone?”
“I do trust you.” I lower my gaze, staring at the coppery buttons on his jacket. He kisses my temple and whispers to me again.
“I promise you… Kelly, I promise to do all I can to survive. That’s the best I can give you.” Pearls of blood glisten against his set lips. I take his hand in mine, and press it against my heart, and I know that he can feel the staccato beat crying out to him. “Will you go?” I look up at him, searching the indomitable jade behind his glasses.
Like a marionette, I nod. “Good. Now, let’s dry those tears,” he murmurs. “I don’t want to see those pretty eyes crying any more.” With his handkerchief he dabs at my closed eyes and cheeks. “There’s my girl. You keep this, I’ve got another.”
I am wordless as he guides me to a queue of passengers waiting to board the lifeboats. The women stumble into the boat, disorientation from their goodbye kisses belying their stoic faces. I don’t want to let go of Clayton’s gloved hand, but when the moment comes, I am as still as they.
We share a decorous kiss under the lanterns. I wind my scarf around his throat, and press a forbidden kiss against the soft skin of his neck.
“It’s all right, little Juno.” His cheery voice quivered, like a butterfly. “You go, and I’ll stay awhile.”
I can’t say goodbye. I want to say farewell.
“I – please don’t catch cold.” I cup his sandy jaw in my hands. My kiss is a plea. “Farewell.” He encircles me with his arms again, and I try hard not to cry. If he is brave enough to sacrifice himself, I will not weep for his courage. I should weep if he’d allowed me to stay.
Clayton squeezes my hand before letting it go. I am led over the lifeboat’s threshold, settling onto the hard plank. The other passengers are a blur of motion and sound around me, and I want to awaken from this dark dream. Clayton blows me a kiss. As we descend, I mouth words I haven’t spoken since that happy night under the same dispassionate stars.
He watches me slowly falling, until the little boat lands on the water with an inaudible splash. Clayton gives me a wistful smile as he turns back to the broken castle of lights and fades into the noble crowd.
Author's postscript:
Technorati tags: clay aiken, kelly clarkson, clelly, fanfiction, writing, titanic,tyra banks, american music awards, days of our lives, regis and kelly show, the tyra banks show, clayversity.
I'm still daydreaming about the day we get an album that is truly Clay. But in the meantime, I have my updated Rock Star Within playlist, with Kimmel Invisible and ATD beside BFM and Perfect Day. And we'll soon be flooded with the goodness of November clack. The AMAs, Days of Our Lives, co-hosting Regis and Kelly, and Tyra are still to come.
I'm probably looking forward to Tyra the most, because I've heard a lot about her on-show chemistry with kiss, culminating in a Clay. GAH! I can't wait to see his face when Tyra rubs herself against him, trying to see if he's allergic to all kinds of "chocolate". I'm getting a little giddy just thinking about it!
Lest I get too lost in fantasies of the Clyra, I'll post part III of 1000 Oceans and trot off. Have a good one!
1000 Oceans
Part III
We are tiny beneath the wide indigo sky. I look up at the uncounted stars above, glimmering like broken ice against the inky waves. Needles pierced my fingertips despite the thick gloves, and I rub them together, like kindling. The deck is teeming with life, families and friends of all ages commingling under the moonless canopy.
I am so absorbed in the night that I jump at Clayton’s touch. He turns me to him and fastens his eyes onto mine, so the jade jewels rivet me. When he speaks, his voice is hushed and grave, but gentle. “Kelly. I’ve just spoken with the Colonel. We’ve hit an iceberg and there is some damage to the ship. Another ship is coming to help, but in the meantime, the lifeboats are being filled. The Colonel says that you must go.” His urgent words buzz around me like electricity. I am trembling again.
“Why? Nothing can hurt the Titanic.” He opens his mouth, but before he can speak, Graham arrives.
“Kelly.” I nod, and introduce him to Clayton. “I am told the damage to the ship is significant. There’s no telling… of course the ship won’t sink, but for your own safety, and for Clayton’s peace of mind. You must go.” I stare into Graham’s face, and see a fearful unspoken secret.
“Yes, Kelly, you have to go.” Frightened, I look up at Clayton. His eyes are somber and determined beneath their gold lashes. He, like Graham, knows something he doesn’t dare to tell me. I fold my trembling hands to still them, and think of my sweet secret. What good could come of life without his hand in mine?
“Really, now. We’ll all meet on the rescue ship at breakfast. Clayton and I will be just fine, brownie.” My tears didn’t fall, but hung in my eyes as I spoke, with Clayton’s hand entwined in mine. “Let’s get in line.”
“Not on your life, Graham. Clayton and I started together, and if need be, we’ll finish together.”
“Kelly, for goodness-” Clayton raises a hand, stemming Graham’s outburst with quiet words.
“Graham, could we have a moment?”
“Of course. I’ll see you in a few minutes.” He leaves us, and I raise my eyes to Clayton’s face again.
“I meant it. I’m not going without you. I promised that I would go wherever you would go.” He bites his lip, and pulls me away from the bewildered masses.
“Kelly, when we were married, you made a promise to obey me.” His voice is too gentle. “Please try to understand. You are so… I know how much you love me.” I look away, trying to hide my tears. “Darling, you must go. I will follow you. But there’s no waiting anymore. You need to go.”
“But if you were going to be fine, you wouldn’t send me away without you. Clayton, I’m not stupid.”
“I know. I know, darling.” He presses his lips against my forehead.
“Then tell me the truth. I need to know it.” He draws us ever further from the demurely disheveled crowds and tight-lipped officers weaving through them like fearful ghosts. “Please, Clayton.” He leads me to the invisibly tilted railing, and I look up at the spinning stars. The sky seems crooked.
“Please believe me, Kelly. I believe we’ll both be all right. But the ship is going to sink.” The breath tangles in my throat, like a willow’s languid leaves.
“How do you know?”
“The Colonel was told by John Thayer, and the ship’s builder told him.”
“You and Graham lied to me. You both knew, and still -,” I quaver, knowing it was only their breed of kindness.
“I just can’t let you risk yourself… or…or…” His breath is choked, and he is fighting for his words. He places a quivering hand on my belly, and the helpless tears fall like stars against my cheeks.
“I never told you.”
“Your speaking eyes told me so.” His soft laughter stabs me, and when he sees my face he stops and embraces me tight against his chest. He strokes my hair and I lay my cheek against his heart. The percussive music within is pleading. “Please, think of our child. God made you to be a mama. Musn’t let Him down.”
“You.” The word escapes, but I can speak no more.
“I was the second place swimming champion back in Raleigh. They suspected my mother of being a mermaid in disguise.”
“You’re a bad liar,” I hiccup. Smiling like an immortal through his own misty eyes, he paints my cheeks with salt teardrops.
“Okay. I am a bad liar. I don’t like the water. That doesn’t mean I can’t swim.” His voice wavers like the strains of cello floating through the arctic air. “Do you think I would leave you alone?”
“I do trust you.” I lower my gaze, staring at the coppery buttons on his jacket. He kisses my temple and whispers to me again.
“I promise you… Kelly, I promise to do all I can to survive. That’s the best I can give you.” Pearls of blood glisten against his set lips. I take his hand in mine, and press it against my heart, and I know that he can feel the staccato beat crying out to him. “Will you go?” I look up at him, searching the indomitable jade behind his glasses.
Like a marionette, I nod. “Good. Now, let’s dry those tears,” he murmurs. “I don’t want to see those pretty eyes crying any more.” With his handkerchief he dabs at my closed eyes and cheeks. “There’s my girl. You keep this, I’ve got another.”
I am wordless as he guides me to a queue of passengers waiting to board the lifeboats. The women stumble into the boat, disorientation from their goodbye kisses belying their stoic faces. I don’t want to let go of Clayton’s gloved hand, but when the moment comes, I am as still as they.
We share a decorous kiss under the lanterns. I wind my scarf around his throat, and press a forbidden kiss against the soft skin of his neck.
“It’s all right, little Juno.” His cheery voice quivered, like a butterfly. “You go, and I’ll stay awhile.”
I can’t say goodbye. I want to say farewell.
“I – please don’t catch cold.” I cup his sandy jaw in my hands. My kiss is a plea. “Farewell.” He encircles me with his arms again, and I try hard not to cry. If he is brave enough to sacrifice himself, I will not weep for his courage. I should weep if he’d allowed me to stay.
Clayton squeezes my hand before letting it go. I am led over the lifeboat’s threshold, settling onto the hard plank. The other passengers are a blur of motion and sound around me, and I want to awaken from this dark dream. Clayton blows me a kiss. As we descend, I mouth words I haven’t spoken since that happy night under the same dispassionate stars.
He watches me slowly falling, until the little boat lands on the water with an inaudible splash. Clayton gives me a wistful smile as he turns back to the broken castle of lights and fades into the noble crowd.
Author's postscript:
Technorati tags: clay aiken, kelly clarkson, clelly, fanfiction, writing, titanic,tyra banks, american music awards, days of our lives, regis and kelly show, the tyra banks show, clayversity.
I think you got a little flustered at the thought of Tyra and Clay kissing with this sentence: "I'm probably looking forward to Tyra the most, because I've heard a lot about her on-show chemistry with kiss, culminating in a Clay." Hee.
"spinning stars" HAHA
"swimming champion" Now that was a good laugh.
I know this story will have a happy ending so I'm not too worried. *g* It will, won't it.
Don't forget to post an alert on CV for Part 4.
Hugs, VV/EE
Posted by
Allegra |
11/07/2006 8:08 a.m.